APRIL 1, 2014 – North Kingstown, RI — Scientists from the Carolinas Academy of Technology have published results from a study commissioned by GO Veggie!, maker of cheese free cheese for those who love cheese, showing apathy in cats is a result of lactose intolerance. This goes against decades of thinking cats enjoyed warm milk in a saucer. The cats in the study exhibited signs of aloofness, moderate sass and just really didn’t care about anything.
The findings show this apathy resulted in other cat behaviors like knocking cups full of water off tables, disobeying simple commands and clawing and biting after extending an invitation to pet their fuzzy bellies.
“For decades, we thought giving milk to cats made for happy kitties,” says James Sockington, lead researcher on the project, “but the results of this study indicate that the opposite is true. In fact, giving milk, cheese or any other food containing lactose actually induces apathy long-term, which is why kitties have a tendency to ultimately retreat instead of enjoy the company of others.”
Sockington and his team have spent the past nine years researching cats and their apathy.
“Lactose intolerance causes gas, diarrhea, cramping, bloating and nausea,” explains Sockington. “When a kitty ingests lactose, the feline experiences the unpleasant symptoms of lactose intolerance. When we presented these cats with lactose-free cheese, we observed the symptoms disappeared, proving our theory."
So next time you fill the saucer or offer up that cheesy treat, remember that what’s tasty for your cat going in, is not so pleasant for them going out. Give your furry friend the gift of lactose-free dairy products and they’ll give you the gift of a positive attitude and clean litter box.
Also, April Fools.